Someone has wished upon the monkey’s paw and now the cast of one of our favorite movies is getting back together in the worst possible way. Using dark capitalistic rituals, Walmart is resurrecting Mean Girls in a series of awkward ads to promote their upcoming Black Friday deals, bringing back Lindsay Lohan, Lacey Chabert, and Amanda Seyfried to North Shore High School.

We’re not saying that we needed more Mean Girls in our lives – the upcoming film adaptation of the musical is plenty to keep us satisfied. However, if we did get the main cast of this movie back together, we wouldn’t have wished it to be in the form of a series of commercials for a shop that most of the characters wouldn’t admit shopping at. There are some awkward throwbacks, such as still trying to make “fetch” happen, scattered among the advertisements for toys and clothing. Walmart isn't the first major brand to latch onto nostalgia for Mean Girls, but this does feel the most blatant.

Not content to produce just one of these commercials, Walmart has promised/threatened to release a new one next Wednesday – because Wednesday is when we wear pink, remember? – as well. They didn’t even have the awareness to release this first teaser on 3 October to tie it into Mean Girls Day. Walmart is trying to raise awareness that they are starting their Black Friday sales early, which we’re sure defeats the purpose of having them on Black Friday.

This marketing push lacks the feeling of spontaneity that we saw from Chuck E. Cheese as they tried to capitalize on the excitement around Five Nights at Freddy’s. That movie just released last week whereas Mean Girls came out nearly 20 years ago. While it is interesting to see what the girls are all up to these days, this simply isn’t how we imagine our return to North Shore High School to feel.

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